The first rule of life
The best things in life aren't things.

The first rule of getting what you want
Ask for it.

The first rule of how to have a successful product
Be first, best, or different.

The first two rules of self-improvement
It will be difficult.
It will be worth it.

The first rule of how to overcome procrastination
see Nike's first rule
Nike's first rule
Just do it

The first rule of comfort zones
If you don't strech your limits,
you will set your limits.

Walt disney's first rule
If you can dream it, you can do it.

Yoda's (of star wars) first rule
Do or do not; there is no try.

The first rule of lines
If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster
than the one you are now in.

Bob Hope's first rule of successful aging
Die young at an old age.

The first rule of computers
Back up your files.

Donna Reed's first rule
When you handle yourself,use your head;
when you handle others, use your heart.

Thomas Jefferson's first rule of dealing with anger
When angry, count to 10 before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.

Dr Benjamin Spock's first law
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you know.


GAUTENG JOKE
Gauteng Metro policeman pulled Sipho's car over and
told him that because he had been wearing his seat belt
he had just won R5 000, in an Arrive Alive safety competition.

Sipho could hardly believe his luck.

"What are you going to do with your cash?" asked the traffic cop.
"Well I guess I'm going to get a drivers license," Sipho answered..

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled Dipuo in the passenger seat.
"He tries to be smart when he's drunk."

This woke up Rodger in the back seat who took one look at
the cop and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."

At that moment there was a knock from the boot and Zakes' voice said,
"Are we over the border yet?"

The cop fainted.