WORK OR FAMILY -- A BALANCED LIFE SEPTEMBER 2007.

Be careful how you spend your life.
Record what you do.
Especially the special moments.

When your children have left home and you look back---What is it that you remember most?

For me I had Four children when I was trying to establish a career. I am sure that we did a huge amount of stuff together- Hiking, family days and fun evenings. But now they are gone and we now have a 10 year old child.
I feel that I missed out in their lives. I was never good at supporting their school activities. I was so caught up in my own life that I missed a whole section of their interests.

10 years ago our daughter Ally entered our lives. I determined that I would be part of her life.
When she walked on to the field one Saturday morning to join Mini Hockey, I walked on with her and from there on became a Hockey coach. When there were parent days at School, I attended as much as I could. When Ally decided to join Nippers, I became a Nippers coach. This year Ally decided to play Soccer. I became part of the coaching team.

I know that there is still a huge amount of her life that I don't or won't be part of, but I try to be there as much as I can.

Here is advice given by Harry Chapmin in his song: "The Cat's in the Cradle". It is a song and tune we all know well. But read the words. I was in tears the first time that I actually listened to the words being sung.


Cat's In The Cradle
by Harry Chapin



Verse:
E G
My child arrived just the other day,
A E
He came to the world in the usual way
E G
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay,
A E
He learned to walk while I was away
D A/C# Bm A
And he was talking 'for I knew it, and as he grew
G Bm E G Bm E
He said "I'm gonna be like you, dad, you know I'm gonna be like you"


Chorus:
E D
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
G A
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
E D
"When you commin' home dad?" "I don't know when,
G Bm E G Bm E
But we'll get together then, You know we'll have a good time then"

Verse 2
My son turned ten just the other day
He said "Thanks for the ball dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw"
I said "Not today I got a lot to do" He said "Thats OK"
He walked away but his smile never dimmed,
It said I'm gonna be like him, yeah,
You know I'm gonna be like him

Verse 3
Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son I'm proud of you can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like dad is to borrow the car keys,
See you later can I have them please?"

Verse 4
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said "I'd love to dad if I could find the time,
You see the my new job's a hassle and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talkin' to you dad
It's sure nice talkin' to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me


Last Chorus
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you commin' home son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, Dad,
We're gonna have a good time then"


What kind of Dad are you? We are all like the dad in the song. But where is the balance in your life? There is a saying that goes something like this: I have never heard a person saying : "I wish I had spent more time at the office".

I have recently had to make a decision to stay with the company that has employed me for the past 23 years and increase the time away from home OR to seek out new employment where there are all kinds of uncertainties but I will be home every night.

I will have to make a Balanced Decision. The new job will mean some weekend work and no time away during the week. What do I do to avoid being like the dad in Harry Chapin's song?

Peter Giddy
September 2007.
.
.
.It later turned out that I remained with the JDG group until January 2015 at my forced retirement at age 64